Feed the Fire

December 12, 2006

Feed the Fire

A relationship cannot survive without fuel

Just as a fire cannot

It may burn hot and bright

But without additional fuel

The flames and warmth gradually fade

Still the embers may glow and shimmer

As a dream, remembered only briefly

Without fuel, even the embers will dim

Until warmth and light are no longer given

And the darkness and cold completely envelops you

When only one person feeds this fire

The embers may be sustained

But for the flames to ignite

For the flames to burn strong and bright

The other must also add their fuel

If you wonder why a relationship is fading

Look to the fuel being provided

Or if fuel is being put into the fire at all

Some fuel burns brighter than others

But I think that the fire burns its brightest

When both people take an active part

In preserving the sincerity of meaning

And do all they can to care for each other

If you really do care

Feed the fire

Is it Really the Fault of MySpace.com???

***DISCLAIMER: This is not my own work, but I feel that its sentiments are correct and accurate. We live in a society in which nobody takes responsibility for their own actions, and you cannot blame everything on video games, music, or the internet.***

Anybody happen to catch Nightline last night on ABC? In case you didn't, one of the hot topics discussed was MySpace. It is no secret to anyone who reads the newspaper or watches the 6 o'clock news that MySpace has been in the limelight because of "sexual predators" trying to "abduct and corrupt" the youth of the world. To this I say bullshit! I see dozens of profiles a day showing 14 year old girls dressed like sluts, wearing four inches of make up and 32 layers of eyeliner, displaying their age as 18 years old and profile lines stating "Oh, I'm So Sexy" or "Hey There, Wanna Check Up On It?" Come on! The youth of today's world are already corrupt enough due to the undying need to be "older" than they really are. I seriously doubt there are tons of people on MySpace stalking "innocent young girls" who just happen to have tramped up profiles and ages 4 years greater than their own.

On Nightline, there was a story of a 12 year old girl who was a drug-addict and attributed it all to MySpace. She claims that Myspace allowed her to easily find drug dealers in her area, as well as older men to have sex with her. Now, at the age of 14, she has been checked into a drug-rehabilitation clinic and has been away from her family for 5 months. Her parents would rather place the blame squarely on the shoulders of MySpace instead of their daughter, who even admitted that at the age of 12, had already tried weed, crack, X, and had slept with numerous guys older than herself...but of course, it wasn't her fault, it was all because of MySpace.

Once again, COME ON! When are parents and children going to stop passing the blame and grow up enough to take responsibility for their actions and the actions of their children.. Parents - monitor your children online, take some responsibility for YOUR children. Children, if a profile name sounds like something that comes out of a cheap horror movie, like "DARK ANGEL OF DEATH WHO EATS THE BRAINS OF GIRLS"...chances are you DO NOT WANT TO ADD THEM AS A FRIEND. Apparently there is new legislation in Congress now to block MySpace in all public schools and public libraries across the United States. All because little girls want to act grown and don't want to accept the consequences and parents don't want to accept the fact that their "innocent little girls" are posing as 18 year old crack whores trying to buy drugs.

Eventually, if this continues, MySpace could be totally outlawed from the Internet. Restrictions will be put in place in order to make MySpace "safer". I don't know about you, but I use MySpace to keep in touch with my family and friends, use it for messages, and just to have a space that is my own. Just because some children want to act grown, does that mean I may have to eventually give up my MySpace? If you feel the same way I do, please, repost this in your blogs or bulletins, or both as "STOP BLAMING MYSPACE". If enough people post this and spread the word, maybe people will get the picture and stop blaming MySpace for every little thing that their children do wrong. As user of MySpace, we should all repost this and take some sort of action. This is not a chain letter, and nothing will happen to you if you don't repost this in 321654987 seconds. However, of all bulletins you will read today, I am sure that this one is the only one that actually has a point to it.


A 14 year old girl, and her mother have filed a law suit against Myspace.com(what?) because she was sexually assaulted by another user. She said he lied by saying he was on the high School football team, and THAT gained her trust. Obvisiously if thats all it took to gain her trust, she easily trust pretty much anybody and anyone. She's suing Myspace.com for $30 million because she believes myspace has poor security. WHAT A CROC! Myspace is not a babysitting service, take responsiblity for your own actions!!! What happened to her is a terrible thing and should never happen to anyone period. Where were her parents? Why are they not held responsible for what thier daughter does in thier own home? Myspace has many many ways of blocking out/screening people, some are: you have to ACCEPT the person you may or may not know as well as deny people you do or do not know, you can have certain sercurity measures added like asking for last name and email address, you can block a person, you can only associate with people you ALREADY know or simply you can NOT be on MySpace if you lack common sense.

Pass this on if you support Tom, and Myspace.com. It's about time adults take responsibility for their own children, instead of blaming it on someone else.

Living Without Her

Like a pendulum swings back and forth so also are my feelings as to what to do about one of the most important relationships that I have ever had in my life. How it hurts to think about letting go of somebody whom I have loved for so long. The moments of bitterness, sorrow and pain contrast themselves starkly against the moments of such great happiness. We have shared so much with each other; hopes, dreams, tears, laughter and even pain. I have watched her struggle with her own personal demons. The only thing that I have ever wanted is to be by her side and do whatever I could in order to make her life better.

A personal insight that I have gained into my personality is that I am a good listener, but that is not the only thing that creates the interest that I have sought for so long with this woman. Somewhere, somehow I have been found lacking. Most aggravating is the fact that I do not even know what it might be that I did, or did not do to create what I wanted between us.

Part of me knows that it is no bad thing to have a very good friend. However, I do not feel that the effort that I have put into sustaining this relationship has been reciprocated in even the friendship department. I do not doubt that part of it could be due to my attempt to end our relationship. This attempt seems to have caused a rift between us that I do not know how to mend.

My question now is whether I continue to try to bridge the gap, or if I just let her go.

A Cipher on the Wall

There is a movie that I remember watching many times while I was growing up called Saturday's Warrior. In short the plot is centered around a young man named Jimmy who is striving to seek true freedom. The reason that this movie came to mind tonight is because of another Character who sees the man that he is vs. the man who he wishes that he was. The movie is musically based and embodied in one of the songs called, "Paper Dream," illucidates some of the thoughts that are going through my own mind.

I take some paper on my hand,
And with a pencil draw a man
The dream of what I'd really, really like to be.
A man with courage in his brow,
Whose licked his doubts and fears somehow,
A warrior of great nobility.
But who am I? Just a wandering kid.
A cipher on the wall, not even brave at all!
And where's my dream like his that I would fight for?
And where's my cuase like his that I would die for?
And in his eyes he's not a afraid
Because you see he's got it made
The dream of what I'd really, really like to be.
A brave and noble, fiery youth.
Who's not afraid to die for truth.
Who's tall and straight, but best of all he's free!
But who am I? Such a fool as I am.
A cipher on the wall, not even brave at all!
And where's my dream like his that I would fight for?
And where's my cuase like his that I would die for?
But still the paper's in my hand
And every day I sketch that man
Who knows the truth and what life's all about!
My conscience says I should be him
I guess I could at least begin
But chances are I'd probably strike out.

How to make the man I am into the man that I would like to be is ever elusive to my efforts. Success seems beyond my grasp. I hate to be pesimistic and negative, but such is my outlook at this point. Why does it seem like I only write when I am depressed? It's because writing is the means by which I hope to chanel some of this negativity and pesimism out of my heart and soul into the great nothingness from whence such feelings come.

A wise man said that our focus determines our reality. Actually, it was Qui-Gon Jin from Episode I of Star Wars, but that doesn't make the quite any less poignant. How do I change my focus to redetermine my reality?

What I want in the woman whom I will make my eternal companion:

Generally speaking the most important qualities I desire is for her to have a strong testimony, that she lives the principles of the gospel, wants to build loving home together with me, that she wants to be a mother in Zion, and that she will support me in my priesthood responsibilities. In her presence, I would think my noblest thoughts, I will aspire to my finest deeds, she will make me wish to better than I am. She will understand how truly beautiful a woman can be when she is clean in both dress, appearance, and her mind. She will stand tall, proud of her inheritance as a daughter of God. She will look to Him for understanding and guidance. His commandments and precepts will be treasured deep in her heart.

It would be wonderful to find a young woman who is constantly robust and cheerful. Though not absolutely necessary a love of singing and music would be some excellent bonuses. The woman that I want will be humble and will understand the power in sincere, heart-felt prayer. I’m looking for someone who isn’t what I call high maintenance. She won’t feel like she needs a lot of make-up, but just enough that it looks like she isn’t wearing any at all. A strong, educated mind is something that might intimidate some guys, but is something that I look for as an essential asset in the woman with whom I want to spend time and eternity. Concern for her family, the desire to be a peacemaker, rather than one who fights, teases and easily quarrels are also extremely important. She will understand the importance of obedience, not to me, but to the commandments of God and His prophets. Somebody willing to help carry on the traditions of family prayer, home evenings, and scripture study is who I am looking for. She will realize that neither I, nor she is perfect, but we will work together to provide a means of support, strength and encouragement to one another through the inevitable storms of life as we look ultimately to the Savior to make us all that we are destined to become. She will be surrounded by friends who encourage her to be her best self and will look for me to do the same. My sister says that she must be willing to scratch my back on a regular basis so that she doesn’t have to. I’ll be willing to do the same for her. The entertainment that she participates in will show a strong sense of that which is sacred. We will work together to do all that we can to make a Christ-centered home that is only second to the temple in peace, love and serenity.

Just a thought or two

I’m not looking for a sympathy vote here. I just need to unload a few things. Life is amazing in its diversity; it’s opposition in all things. I know the façade I put on to mask the storms within. I know that life is about being happy, but sometimes it’s so much easier said than done. I look at those around me and wonder how much they feel what I am feeling. I wonder why we don’t feel more like we can ask those who are our friends to give us the lift that we so desperately want and need. I wonder why I can’t figure out how to ask those around me for help. I am so confident they would give it if they only knew what to do.

I look at the girls that I have the pleasure to associate with and I see so much potential inside of them. They are all bright stars of hope by which the lost mariner can chart his course to the safe harbor. Which of them might be my North Star?

Life will shake out eventually

Two Faces

I look in the mirror
Two faces look back
One is everything I want to be
The other is everything I despise
I see the man who has surrendered himself to God
His life is devoted to service
Joy radiates in his very countenance
He feels what is in the hearts of others
Compassion overflows into all he does
Lifting the heavy hands is his goal
Easing the burdens of others is his quest
Blessings rain down upon him from heaven
He knows his weaknesses
But puts them into perspective
Realizing that perfection is not for this life
Yet he does all he can
And then trusts the rest to the Lord
The other face I shudder to look at
There is evil in the smiling eyes
Is he really what I have allowed
To become a part of who I am
Day by day he seems to become stronger
I don’t know how to turn him away
He mocks my very efforts to repent
Lies he whispers into my ears
Ears which have become accustomed to his words
Misery is his ultimate doom
Through eternity he is tormented
He knows what could have been
His every flaw is magnified
Examined through an electron microscope
This dichotomy within my soul
Is a battle for dominance
Who will conquer in the end
I pray and hope that it will be the prior

The Man in Me

I actually wrote this yesterday.

Frustrated with relationships
Do I want more
Or do I want less
Torn between wanting somebody
And wanting to be wanted
Wondering if I am good enough
I wonder if it is worth the chase
What do I need to do differently
Am I not attractive enough
Is there something wrong with my personality
Some flaw that I can not see
Is it there before my face
How can I want somebody else to want me
When I don’t want myself
I am so full of weakness
Stupid things that not only hurt the ones I love
They also kill me a little bit each day
Things I want to give up so badly
Yet they haunt me night and day
Demons in my dreams
Paralyze me with fear
I can’t move
My voice is gone
Somehow I live another day
My arms ache for somebody to hold
I reach for a hand that isn’t there
I see her potential for greatness
Though I have never seen her face
She’s a daughter of God
Deserving of all that a man can give her
Where is the man in me
Can I find him or will he find me
So that I can be all she wants and needs
This unfound love

A Call I Hear

I first heard this song while I was on my mission and it's always like going back in time when I hear it. Anybody who's served a mission should be able to identify with these words.

A Call I Hear
By Peter Breinholt

See that little hill on the side of the town
Go on up and climb it and turn back around
Catch your breath and miles and miles of fields
And you feel safe there

And there alone you kneel and you feel indeed
You wanna go and help every soul that you see
You wanna go and share what you know inside
And show you love Him

Out beyond this home so dear
Theres another call I hear

And the rivers turn to sea
And the stars smile back at me
And little butterflies inside now
And a hope that I'm coming back

Now I remember days when you laughed so hard
We walked along the roads in the counrty so far
I remember children and sounds in the street
And we belong there

And then the broken man in his house one day
He said he wasn't sure if he knew how to pray
Then he tried and said whats in his heart
So pure and easy

Slowly turn around and see
There's a part of them in me

Now the birds are flying home
To the hills above the storm
And I know that I should follow
But its hard to say goodbye

And the river turns to sea
And the stars smile back at me
ANd little butterflies are gone now
But its time I'm coming back now
I'm coming back now
I'm coming back now
I'm coming home

What She Deserves

There was more to this poem, but I cut it out because this is the part that I would prefer to focus on. Sometimes I find myself wondering why it is that girls seem to go for the guys that treat them as less than they are. Do they not realize that there are men out there that will treat them as everything that they are and with the respect that they deserve? Why settle for less than the best?

Why do some guys have to be such jerks
They give the rest of us a bad rap
Those of us who see the daughters of God
The way Father sees them
Deserving of the highest respect
This is all I would give you
The gift you deserve above anything
I would be the friend that He is
There for you no matter what or when
Lending the listening ear
Being a shoulder to cry on
A lifter of your spirit
When things are looking down
I won’t tell you what to do
Only what is in my head
Advice is sometimes worth what you pay
Regardless I will be here
A true friend
Always

Truth, Justice, and the American Way?

It was the fourth of July. My mother, brother and I went and saw the new movie, Superman Returns. I thought that the movie was quite well done in the portrayal of the characters and that the rivalry between Superman and his nemesis Lex Luthor. I thought that the spiritual overtone relating to Jar-El sending his son, Kel-El to the world in order to provide them with a light to guide them was very typifying of God sending his Son, Jesus Christ, to be the Light of the World.

It is now the 7^th of July and I am listening to the Dr. Laura program. In the opening segment she talked about an e-mail that she had received that lamented the fact that she had given away a part of the plot in explaining that Lois Lane and Superman illegitimately conceived a child and how Lois was now living with another man outside the covenant of marriage.

The contrast of the two premises that came to play on the screen was something that I didn’t make initially and it is somewhat disappointing to me to realize that I completely overlooked the immorality.

An inconsistency in my character has been revealed. I was so excited to see X-Men III and even had a date lined up to go and watch the film; however, that morning I was reading the paper and came across a review that mentioned the fact that there was some partial nudity. Once I discovered this I decided that we might pursue another activity so that neither my date nor myself would have to deal with the discomfort that could possibly result. However; because of the prevalence of immorality that is so rampant in our society, and through other media that I have consumed, I was so used to the idea that people conceive children outside of wedlock and cohabitate that I didn’t think that it was big enough deal to register against my sense of values.

Nephi set a wonderful example when he implored, “O Lord, with thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt though make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?” (2 Nephi 4:31, italics added) My soul still needs some redeeming so that I may be pure enough that when such occasions arise in the future that I will shake at the appearance of sin. Through the purifying power of the Atonement of Christ, this is certainly possible.

A Tender Mercy of Christ

However I know that there were times that the Spirit was there with me and helped me to know what to say. Though the names have left my mind I still remember a companionship exchange with Elder Sorenson and teaching a man with whom we went through the eleventh chapter of Third Nephi and I know that the words that I was speaking were not my own. I remember sharing a hug with a woman who had contracted lupus who knew that there was something more than she was receiving in the religion that she grew up in. I remember the Manaea family and having the opportunity to see them go through the temple and be sealed as a family. I know that tracting may not have seemed like the most effective form of missionary work, but I know that there were times that the Holy Spirit told us where to go because there was somebody who needed to have an opportunity to hear the gospel. Whether or not they said yes or now was not the important thing, the important thing was that we offered them a chance. I have no doubt that they will again be offered another chance. When the time is right they will receive the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ and be led to follow the path which will lead them back into the presence of our Heavenly Father. The mere experience to go on a mission was a tender mercy of God. It was such a blessing for me to have had the opportunity to dedicate all of my time, talents and efforts to the work of inviting his children to come unto Christ.

An Update of Events

It has been some time since I have posted a blog entry. The hard drive on my computer was experiencing some technical difficulties which resulted in my having to get a new hard drive, but now that things are back up and running I will give a brief rundown on some of the recent happenings in my life. One of the most significant is my resumed correspondence with my dear friend, Marianne. Roughly three years ago I encountered a difficulty in our relationship in which I felt that the best course of action would be for us to cease all forms of correspondence. At the time I thought that such an action would be permanent, but through what I am sure is one of the tender mercies of Christ we have begun an e-mail correspondence until such a time that I feel that it would be appropriate for us to see one another again. She has long been a source of joy in my life and one of my most valued friends.

As long as we are on the friends front I suppose I should say that it seems that things between Shae and I are all but repaired. At least the most recent time that we spent together was as though we had not experienced the difficulties that had been previously present in our relationship. I am doing my best to maintain a healthy level of expectations and to take joy in our friendship and not place any hopes that we could be more as this has only injured our relationship in the past.

I recently had a fun encounter with a slide in our backyard. During a conversation with Shae I was outside enjoying the air and I walked up the slide. I then commenced to walk back down it when gravity got the best of me and I fell thus causing me to fall on my hand and dislocate my left middle finger. It was quite odd to see it bent at near a 45 degree angle at the second joint on the finger. I panicked for a moment but then figured that it wouldn’t do any good and so I told Shae to hold on while I fixed my finger and I put it back where I thought it should be. That was just over a week ago now and it is still swollen where it was dislocated, but I am sure that it will heal fine.

During the Memorial Day weekend my family went with my Uncle Larry’s family down to Lake Powell. Though it was windy for the majority of the time, I still enjoyed the trip as I was able to get a fair amount of reading done. I concluded reading The Chronicles of Narnia, The Mouse and the Motorcycle and most of Teach Ye Dilligently.

That about sums up the recent happenings in life to this point.

Da Vinci Code Sacrilege and Blasphemy

Friday night I went and saw the Da Vinci Code with a bunch of friends. The last time that I wanted to see a movie bad enough to face the opening night crowds was when I went to see The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Considering my anticipation for seeing the Da Vinci Code I found myself leaving the theater trying to figure out exactly how I felt about it. Though, I don’t think that my reasons for having to think about it one way or the other would follow the mainline of critics who have not seemed to give the film quite dismal reviews.

During the time that I was watching the movie there were a few things that disturbed me right up front and left me squirming in my seat. The first was having to bear the view of Paul Bettany’s backside once again as he whips himself and makes use of a spiked belt wrapped around his leg tight enough to cause lesions. Then there was the portrayal of a sexual ritual performed by members of the Priory of Scion which was much less revealing then it could have been. There was a fair amount of obscenity which you come to almost accept as normal with Hollywood productions at this point in time.

The most disturbing aspect of the movie for me was the light treatment of the sacred nature of Jesus Christ. I went into the movie knowing full well the portrayal that Dan Brown had given to the so called fact that Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdalene and that they had at least one child together; however, it seems that I had forgotten how much the life of Jesus was trivialized and how out of proportion the relationship of man and woman is distorted.

It is curious to me that it seems that both the book and the film seemed to put such a great enlargement of the importance of Mary Magdalene as the bearer of Christ’s child to the point that it is her that should be worshipped as a god instead of Christ himself. Christ taught that he was the way, the truth and the life of men (John 14:6). It is by following His example, by keeping his commandments, and following the Holy Spirit that we will regain entrance into the Kingdom of God.

I think that most people who have what Elder D. Todd Christofferson defined as a sense of the sacred will understand what I am trying to convey. “The importance of having a sense of the sacred is simply this–if one does not appreciate holy things, he will lose them. Absent a feeling of reverence, he will grow increasingly casual in attitude and lax in conduct. He will drift from the moorings that his covenants with God could provide. His feeling of accountability to God will diminish and then be forgotten. Thereafter, he will care only about his own comfort and satisfying his uncontrolled appetites. Finally, he will come to despise sacred things, even God, and then he will despise himself.” – CES Fireside for Young Adults, November 7, 2004, Brigham Young University.

This movie does little to convey a sense of the sacred nature of Jesus Christ and the sacred nature of marriage and the roles of men and women in our Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. The sacrilege and blasphemous nature of the movie was such that I will neither read the book nor watch the film again.

Doubt is Part of Faith???

"I know I believe in God but I have doubts, and doubt is part of faith," she [Madeline Albright] said.

I found this quote yesterday while perusing an article which was a report of the former United States Secretary of State’s opinion on President Bush’s affirmation of faith as it relates to his avowal of faith in relation to policy. The article can be found at the following site: http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/05/22/albright.bush.reut/index.html.

The focus of my post at this point is not whether or not I agree with Ms. Albright’s assertions, but the utter self-contradiction of the statement which concluded the article which I have cited above. I don’t think that I have heard a more obvious and outright contradiction since the 2004 Presidential Election in which presidential nominee John Kerry said that, “I voted for it before I voted against it,” in reference to a military spending proposal that was made to the senate.

Thought it may be somewhat moot to do so, let us take a dictionary definition of faith:

1 a : allegiance to duty or a person : LOYALTY b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions
2 a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust
3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs

Let us also take the dictionary definition of doubt:

1 archaic a : FEAR b : SUSPECT
2 : to be in doubt about doubts everyone's word>
3 a : to lack confidence in : DISTRUST doubting him even when I know that he is honest -- H. L. Mencken> b : to consider unlikely

Is it reasonably possible for faith and doubt to cohabit the same mind? I would submit that they cannot. One rules out the other as they are in direct contrast in every aspect. Faith is negated by doubt. How can you say that you believe in something and doubt it at the same time. I believe that the correct word for such a circumstance in which you find yourself wishing to believe something but that you have your doubts as to it’s truth is skepticisim.

The benefit that President Bush has over Ms. Albright is that he is not skeptical about his beliefs. He has full confidence in them and acts according to the dictates of his own conscience and not that of what he thinks other people would like him to do.

The Da Vinci Code and A Sense of the Sacred

Last night I went and saw the Da Vinci Code with a bunch of friends. The last time that I wanted to see a movie bad enough to face the opening night crowds was when I went to see The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Considering my anticipation for seeing the Da Vinci Code I found myself leaving the theater trying to figure out exactly how I felt about it. Though, I don’t think that my reasons for having to think about it one way or the other would follow the mainline of critics who have not seemed to give the film quite dismal reviews.

During the time that I was watching the movie there were a few things that disturbed me right up front and left me squirming in my seat. The first was having to bear the view of Paul Bettany’s backside once again as he whips himself and makes use of a spiked belt wrapped around his leg tight enough to cause lesions. Then there was the portrayal of a sexual ritual performed by members of the Priory of Scion which was much less revealing then it could have been. There was a fair amount of obscenity which you come to almost accept as normal with Hollywood productions at this point in time.

The most disturbing aspect of the movie for me was the light treatment of the sacred nature of Jesus Christ. I went into the movie knowing full well the portrayal that Dan Brown had given to the so called fact that Jesus Christ was married to Mary Magdalene and that they had at least one child together; however, it seems that I had forgotten how much the life of Jesus was trivialized and how out of proportion the relationship of man and woman is distorted.

It is curious to me that it seems that both the book and the film seemed to put such a great enlargement of the importance of Mary Magdalene as the bearer of Christ’s child to the point that it is her that should be worshipped as a god instead of Christ himself. Christ taught that he was the way, the truth and the life of men (John 14:6). It is by following His example, by keeping his commandments, and following the Holy Spirit that we will regain entrance into the Kingdom of God.

I think that most people who have what Elder D. Todd Christofferson defined as a sense of the sacred will understand what I am trying to convey. “The importance of having a sense of the sacred is simply this–if one does not appreciate holy things, he will lose them. Absent a feeling of reverence, he will grow increasingly casual in attitude and lax in conduct. He will drift from the moorings that his covenants with God could provide. His feeling of accountability to God will diminish and then be forgotten. Thereafter, he will care only about his own comfort and satisfying his uncontrolled appetites. Finally, he will come to despise sacred things, even God, and then he will despise himself.” – CES Fireside for Young Adults, November 7, 2004, Brigham Young University.

This movie does little to convey a sense of the sacred nature of Jesus Christ and the sacred nature of marriage and the roles of men and women in our Heavenly Father’s plan for His children

Iran following in Nazi footsteps?

I could hardly believe this headline when I saw it: Iran eyes badges for Jews,
Law would require non-Muslim insignia. Think for just one moment and see if this sounds at all familiar. If you are like me you didn’t have to think about it long at all to see what is happening. “Iran's roughly 25,000 Jews would have to sew a yellow strip of cloth on the front of their clothes, while Christians would wear red badges and Zoroastrians would be forced to wear blue cloth.” I have pictured with this post the armbands that the dictator Adolf Hitler forced the Jews to wear during the 1930s and 1940s when he was at the height of his power in Germany. I can think of no good reason that any dictator should wish to distinguish between what he sees as the dominant race and culture of his country and those that are in the minority. The only motive that I can see is to make them easier to persecute.

Hitler was ignored for far too long before the world opened it’s eyes to the atrocities that he committed. We cannot ignore Iran who seems to be following in his footsteps. I have e-mailed both of my state’s senators in regards to this matter and I urge all active-minded people to do the same.

http://www.canada.com/components/print.aspx?id=11fbf4a8-282a-4d18-954f-546709b1240f&k=32073

An LDS perspective of The Da Vinci Code

Please note that the following is not a representation of the opion of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, but is merely the opinion of one member of the church.

With the upcoming release of The Da Vinci Code, I thought I would express my own views towards the highly controversial film. First of all I will say that my own religious views have not kept me from reading the novel by Dan Brown, nor will it keep me from attending the movie on opening night with a group of friends. I read the book some time ago so I will be borrowing from a web site to refresh my memory and explore the different premises laid in the book. The site from which I am referencing the books main premises is as follows: http://www.y-zine.com/mona_lisa.htm.

The premises are these:

• The Roman emperor Constantine conspired to deify Jesus Christ.
• Constantine personally selected the books of the New Testament.
• The Gnostic gospels were banned by men to suppress women.
• Jesus and Mary Magdalene were secretly married and had a child.
• Thousands of secret documents disprove key points of Christianity.

I must acknowledge my limited knowledge of church history and what would be considered documented facts. I will be taking these points in hand from more of a religious standpoint, rather than the standpoint of a scholar.

The first premise listed is that the Roman emperor, Constantine, contrived a conspiracy to deify Jesus Christ. To quote the cited article, “Brown reveals his conspiracy through the book’s fictional expert, British royal historian Sir Leigh Teabing. Presented as a wise old scholar, Teabing reveals to cryptologist Sophie Neveu that at the Council of Nicaea in a.d. 325 “many aspects of Christianity were debated and voted upon,” including the divinity of Jesus.”

It is my understanding that Christ was about 33 at the time of his crucifixion. If this is the case then the council at Nicaea took place 292 years following the ministry of Jesus Christ. If we look to the Bible as a historical document as well as a religious text then we know that following the crucifixion Christ spent 40 days among his apostles and other disciples in his resurrected form (Acts 1: 3). During his three year ministry and this time Jesus fully organizes his church and brings people into His fold (John 10:16). If you will further explore this same tenth chapter of John then you will see that the Jews sought to slay Christ for His own claim of divinity in verses 33-38. Was it the emperor, Constantine, 292 years after the time of Christ who first claimed divinity, or was it Christ himself that taught his followers that he was sent from God?

This question might be answered by addressing the second premise that it was Constantine who selected the books of the New Testament. Unless the great church historians have been manipulated this is highly unlikely. Several books of the New Testament were considered as authentic early as 140 AD by the historian, Marcion. The majority were recognized by Irenaeus in 180 AD. Several books were left out by Eusebius in 325 which is the time that Constinantine was working to unify the church and declare what was accepted as authentic. It was not Constantine alone who chose these books, but it was also the role of the council to ratify any decisions. The books of the New Testament were not listed in full as they are presently constituted until 367 AD by Athanasius.

Another of the premises that is presented is that several Gnostic gospels were suppressed in order to keep women in subjection. If this was indeed the case, it was the members of the early church and not Christ or the Apostles who wished to keep women in subjection to the will of men. From all scriptural accounts, Christ never degraded women, but rather held them in the highest of esteems. He never condemned them as was witnessed when he was presented with the woman taken in adultery (John 8:3-11), he taught them that it was faith that worked miracles when he spoke to the woman who believed that by touching the hem of Christ’s garment and was made whole from an issue of blood (hemorrhage) that she had been suffering for twelve years (Matthew 9:20-22). He allowed a woman who was a known sinner to bathe his feet with her tears (Luke 7:37-38). It was Mary Magdalene to whom he first appeared following his resurrection (John 20:1-17). To appear first to a woman showed that they were held in high regard in his eyes. It was also a woman from Samaria to whom he taught that if they were to drink of the water that he had to give that they would never again thirst (John 4:7-27).

It seems that the most controversial issue that arises in The Da Vinci Code was that Jesus Christ was married and perhaps had even conceived children. It must be remembered that Christ was around 33 years of age when he was crucified. The scriptural record accounts for the three years of his ministry. Prior to that time there are another 30 years of which we know very little of the life of Jesus. To say with certainty whether Christ was or wasn’t married according to scriptural records is to say so from silence as there is no indication one way or the other that he was married and had children or that he was not and did not. There are however, teachings of Christ himself and the apostles to indicate that marriage was a very important aspect of the gospel. Let us take the words of Christ as found in Matthew 19:5-6, “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Marriage is not just a practice of men for their own benefit, but it is ordained of God. Paul taught the people of Corinth that the man is not without the woman, neither the man without the woman in the Lord (1 Corinthians 11:11). As far as LDS theology is concerned, none of our Heavenly Father’s children may be saved without their husband or wife at their side and so it must be that Christ also marries. Whether he fulfilled this requirement during mortality, or following, it has not been made known. But it would not take away from His divinity if it were made known that he had married during mortality, nor would it do so if he were to have been part of the fulfilling of the commandment to Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth. Christ’s love of children was also displayed when they came to see him and his disciples attempted to send them away (Matthew 19:13-15). It is also pure conjecture to say why the scriptures are silent on the matters of Christ’s marriage or conception of children. We must remember that our thoughts are not his thoughts, nor are our ways his ways (Isaiah 55: 8-9) and that he has a reason for such silence.

The last premise to address is that of the alleged existence of thousands of documents that would disprove key points of Christianity. Such is the test of faith. To paraphrase an LDS movie entitled, “God’s Army,” it was said that it seems as though we are presented with thousands of things which might destroy our faith, and few to sustain it. One of the greatest blessings of being LDS is that we do not have to rely only on the Bible to sustain our faith. Another work of scripture reaffirms and provides instruction as to how one may come to a knowledge of the truth. This work is known as The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. The original record was written by ancient prophets that lived upon the American continent upon plates of gold which were revealed to and translated by Joseph Smith, Jr. through the inspiration of God. It confirms that Jesus Christ was indeed sent forth from God to make the means of salvation available to all mankind and that his divinity was not conceived by the mortal mind in order to gain power or influence over other mortal minds.

Man may come up with many great schemes, ideas, and philosophies, but those that are inspired of God could never be overturned or destroyed.

Ironic

Perhaps you are familiar with Ironic by Alanis Morisette
Thought I am not a lyricist by many means
I have my own version of that song to write

One woman I lost from my life three years ago
Now she is slowly becoming a part of it again
It makes me so happy to hear her words
Though they are only read in letters

Another woman is slowly fading from the picture
Though I often wonder how much she was really there
There is only one thing that seems to have changed
I have stopped trying to keep in contact with her

Up, down, to the left and to the right
Which direction will life take me next?
One woman will undoubtedly be there
Right now the other is a giant question mark

Relationships held so dear in my heart
Ties that have been forged over so much time
Strain now, threatening to break
Will they stand the test of time?

Distance narrows and hope grows on one side
Slowly the fire of friendship burns down on the other
How hard do I try to keep the flames alive?
On the other, despite the time, it is as though we never parted

Escape the Whirlpools of Sin

[VALJEAN]
What have I done?
Sweet Jesus, what have I done?
Become a thief in the night,
Become a dog on the run
And have I fallen so far,
And is the hour so late
That nothing remains but the cry of my hate,
The cries in the dark that nobody hears,
Here where I stand at the turning of the years?

If there's another way to go
I missed it twenty long years ago
My life was a war that could never be won
They gave me a number and murdered Valjean
When they chained me and left me for dead
Just for stealing a mouthful of bread
Yet why did I allow that man
To touch my soul and teach me love?

He treated me like any other
He gave me his trust
He called me brother
My life he claims for God above
Can such things be?
For I had come to hate the world
This world that always hated me

Take an eye for an eye!
Turn your heart into stone!
This is all I have lived for!
This is all I have known!
One word from him and I'd be back
Beneath the lash, upon the rack
Instead he offers me my freedom
I feel my shame inside me like a knife
He told me that I have a soul,
How does he know?
What spirit comes to move my life?
Is there another way to go?

I am reaching, but I fall
And the night is closing in
And I stare into the void
To the whirlpool of my sin
I'll escape now from the world
From the world of Jean Valjean
Jean Valjean is nothing now
Another story must begin!

---

Here we have Jean Valjean facing his own introspection after he has been counseled by the Bishop, who's silver he had been apprehended attempting to steal, to use the silver as a means to become an honest man. He faces his hate and his hoplessness and perhaps realized that if the Bishop could look past the fact that he was a former convict, who had just attempted to steal again, and grant him forgiveness, perhaps he could look past it himself and make himself a new man.

Recently in a Church Educational System (CES) Firside, President James E. Faust gave counsel that life is full of new beginnings. Each day, each hour, and even each minute presents us a new opportunity to change our lives and bring it into accordance with the way that we hope that we can and should be. We can resolve again, no matter how many times we have previously failed, to raise ourselves from our own whirlpools of sin.

"And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted." - Matthew 23:12

Sometimes I wonder at the cycle that I seem to find myself going through. I find myself, like a hiker in the midst of a great and exhilerating mountain climb, reaching one summit only to find that in order to get to a higher position I must first descend. It is as though my desire to draw as close to my Heavenly Father as possible wavers as a graph of a line that, rather than ascending with a good incline, is rather a chart of peaks and valleys. Hopefully though I when looking back I may be able to find that each peak is higer than the last and that the valleys are never as low or lower than the prior. Like many I have been taught that I should be able to depend on myself.

Humility is a very common theme through out the scriptures. I know that I must do more to show that I am not leaning upon my own strength, but that I remember that it is only upon the merits of Christ and by developing my relationship with him that his atoning blood may wash clean as snow, my scarlet sins. I know that he is there if I will only draw upon the strength that He is so willing to offer.

The House of the Lord

Holiness to the Lord
The House of the Lord

Upon each of these holy houses these words are engraven. They are a mark of the purpouse that they are built. It is within the hallowed walls where all of the ordinances that are necessary for the salvation of God's children may be performed not only for the living, but for those who have passed beyond the time of their own mortality. Were it not for the sacred commandment to perform these ordinances all mankind could not be saved. An innumberable host of men, women and children have died without ever having had the opportunity to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ; that He came into the world so that we might be delivered from sin and transgression. Neither were they afforded the opportunity to participate in the ordinances that would make it possible for them to return to the presance of our Heavenly Father. Because of God's desire that all mankind might be saved (John 3:16) he has revealed the means by which we may provide vicarious ordinances for those who are no longer among the living; that they might be afforded the opportunity to accept all of the principles and ordinences that are required to enter the Kingdom of God.

It has been quite some time since I was able to have the opportunity to enter one of these sacred houses, but I am pleased that once again I find myself in a position to attend The House of the Lord on behalf of my brethren. 

Music Box

This is one of my Favorite movies of all time. The music and the message within have the ponwer to warm your heart and to help you want to be a better person. It's one of those feel-good movies that leaves you with a smile on your face and tender feelings in your heart. If you have never seen the movie or heard the music, I highly recommend it.

---

The Melody Within lyrics
Artist - Rigoletto Soundtrack
Album - Rigoletto
Lyrics - The Melody Within

Music boxes have within,
melodies they carry with them,
once they open music fills the air.

Every person you have known,
has a song of their own,
once they open up you'll hear whats there.

It's not easy you must listen
with your heart for what lies hidden.

There was a melody,
locked deep inside of me
but now its free,
it found a place embraced by harmony,
sweet harmony,

Love more than anything,
Teaches our hearts to sing,
Only love, could break the spell,
now I know, very well, the love within myself.

(music)

There was a melody,
locked deep inside of me
but now its free,
it found a place embraced by harmony,
sweet harmony,

Love more than anything,
Teaches our hearts to sing,

Only love, could break the spell,
now I know, very well, the love within myself. 

Moving Forward

Today my brain has felt somewhat muddled. I can’t say exactly why this might be so. I also have a bit of a headache so I wonder if I am just trying to think too much and not do enough. I have been long toying with the idea of writing an essay on the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I don’t think that I could try to write about a more comprehensive subject thus the basis of the appeal of the idea. It would be challenging and would require a lot of time and effort. It would also be something at which I could look with immense satisfaction upon its completion. There is one fallacy in my thought and that is that it will ever be complete. The human mind is too finite to hope to completely grasp the depth and scope of the sacrifice that has been made by the one man who, through all the ages of time, lived a sinless life on behalf of all the others who have committed offenses against the eternal laws that have been laid down since the foundation of the world. Still I only want to relay my own personal pursuit of what I have encountered in my own life.

It’s funny how sometimes you just need to take a break from what you are trying to do, focus on something else for a while and then come back with a renewed energy and you suddenly find that you can go on and on from where you thought you had a roadblock. It also helps to take a couple of ibuprofen to help alleviate the headache. Anyway, I took some time to take some medication and to get some dinner and I was able to make a little bit of headway in progressing my essay.

I read another blog today by what I can only see as a very beautiful young woman. She related how she seemed to define her self esteem by being in a serious relationship. This isn’t the first time that I have seen such a situation and I was just wondering to myself what it is that creates this need from love in people. Having a knowledge of the plan of salvation that our God has for us has helped immensely in coming to what I feel is a good answer. It is my belief that we existed before we were born into mortality as the great family of God and we all dwelt in his presence as his children. (Romans 8:16) While we were there we knew of the great love that He has for us and when we were required to leave his presence to begin this time on earth we were left with the desire to once again feel that love and so we seek it almost to the point where it is as necessary as air to survive. Without knowing that it is God that is the source of this love we will look for it in those that we encounter in life, but unfortunately we, as mortals, do not possess love in the great capacity that God does. So sometimes we are left lacking and we are disappointed, hurt and may move from relationship to relationship hoping to find a constant and dependable source of love. Until we come to God it may never be found.

An Insight to Deity

It has been a delightful Sabbath day. Today’s meetings were excellent. They were uplifting and gave the boost that I am sure that I will need this coming week. It is interesting to be involved in a singles ward in a college area. The end of the school year brings about an end of the consistency of the congregation as it has been for the last several months. It is a bittersweet time as you have people that are returning home for the summer but who are moving on with their lives. You never know who you might see the next year. Tonight I had the opportunity to share my testimony with all the people that were there. It is funny the way it usually works when I share my testimony. I usually have a hundred things that I would like to say and then end up not saying any of them. The Lord knows better what the people need to hear and so I try to merely be the conduit through which He can speak. Dru and I also had the opportunity to talk quite a bit today. We spent a good amount of time this afternoon talking on MSN instant messenger and then we spent another hour or so talking following ward prayer. He is a wonderful friend and I admire him a lot.

I have come to a greater understanding of what it must be like for the Savior and our Heavenly Father who want to help us so much, but having to watch us sometimes suffer immense amounts of pain, knowing sometimes that it could have been avoided. I can’t imagine it being easy to not say what they know we could do to fix things, but rather they let us work out our own problems and wait for us to turn to them for help if we desire it. Sometimes even when we ask for help we still have to work things out on our own. It’s an interesting thing to try to understand, but even if I might not understand all of the things that happen in life I know that They know the end from the beginning and that all things may work out for our benefit.

A Time of Chage - A time of limitless Opportunity

I went and played volleyball with some of the member’s of the 42^nd ward and I had quite a good time. I even got a bit of sunburn on my face so it is a little bit tender. It felt good to get outside and do something though. I love spring. I think the best times of the year are when things change. I love the transition. It’s the way that life is. There are times when things come to life and times that they seem to die, but really it is a cycle that never ends. Each death brings new life and the potential for greater joy.

There were also some interesting things that I read as I was perusing the EFY (Especially For Youth) counselor manual a little bit earlier this evening. I will share with you the quotes that I read and I will leave it to you to gain what insights you will from these quotes from a living Prophet of God.

“This is a season of a thousand opportunities. It is ours to grasp and move forward. What a wonderful time it is for each of us to do his or her small part in moving the work of the Lord on to it’s magnificent destiny.” - Gordon B. Hinckley, “Look to the Future,” Ensign, Nov 1997, 67

“We of this generation are the end harvest of all that has gone before. It is not enough to simply be known as a member of this Church. A solemn obligation rests upon us. Let us face it and work at it. We must live as true followers of the Christ, with charity toward all, returning good for evil, teaching by example the ways of the Lord, and accomplishing the vast service He has outlined for us.” – Gordon B. Hinckley, “The Dawning of a Brighter Day,” Ensign, May 2004, 81

We live among the dispensation of the fullness of times when all that God has revealed to previous dispensation is being revealed to us once again. Paul spoke of this time declaring, ”Having made known unto us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he hath purposed in himself: That in the dispensation of the fullness of times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which are in heaven and which are on earth; even in him:” – Ephesians 1:9-10.